WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEONE'S STORY
Proverbs 18:17(NKJV)
The first one to plead his cause seems right,
Until his neighbor comes and examines him.
When I was in Bible School one of my wise professors said something I have never forgotten. He said there are three sides to every story. Her side. His side and the truth. The class was dealing specifically with counseling, but this same principle can apply to much of life.
It is easy to listen to someone tell their side of what has happened to them. Wisdom says refrain from making sweeping judgements until you hear the other side. I am very much prone to deeply discount someone's story when they are just bashing another person, church, company etc... And when they are bashing without taking any responsibility on their own, I pull back even more.
The challenge is that the first person to tell his story can seem so right. I have been fully onboard with the first person only to have to recant when I hear the other side. The NLT says "The first to speak in court sounds right- until the cross- examination begins."
This is probably why Paul wrote to Timothy, who was pastor of the large church in Ephesus, and instructed him not to receive an accusation against an elder unless there were two or three witnesses. I have tried to adhere to this principle in our church. If someone accuses a staff member or leader we will look into it. But we typically don't go full speed unless we hear this from two or more people.
For parents who are dealing with adult children it's so easy to take our child's side without hearing the other side. Of course, there are always circumstances where we don't have to wait and hear. I am thinking of physical abuse, abandonment and adultery in a marriage. But in family disputes listen for the other side even if it's your baby. Hard? Yes! Important? Absolutely. We want what is right and we want to be a voice of wisdom in our children's lives.
If it sounds as if I am speaking from personal experience that is correct. I have told all my children and their spouses that I am an advocate for their marriage and will do anything I can to help them stay together and stay strong.
For parents of younger children, you may want to hear the teacher's side before you make a judgement call. Wisdom for all of us is to hear all sides and look to the Holy Spirit for the wisdom and discernment to do the right thing. It's a process but remember that God's wisdom is timeless, practical and highly advantageous!
PRAYER
Lord, You gave me two ears to hear both sides of the story. Grant me wisdom to be a help and an advocate for the truth!