PRE-HOLIDAY WISDOM
Proverbs 20:3 NKJV
3 It is honorable for a man to stop striving,
Since any fool can start a quarrel.
Ah, tis the season for holiday festivities—the food, the family, the fights. Let’s see if we can skip the last thing. No one wants arguments cluttering their holidays. One of the unavoidable conditions of the holiday season is that we often interact with people we don’t see all year. And there are people at family functions that we don’t always connect warmly with. The big question is still, what do we do?
This proverb speaks of the honor of not striving or arguments. And that is a totally different way of looking at things. It’s honorable to avoid an argument. We can even make a game of avoiding the conflict. The one with the most honor wins. You can keep score with other family members of all the strife you avoided. Things such as “Oh yeah, Uncle John was trying to bait me into a political argument, but I changed the subject and avoided the whole thing. That’s one honor point for me.” But knowing Uncle John, the family may award you bonus honor points for avoiding the conflict.
Obviously, I am tongue-in-cheek on the points system, but if it helps create a consciousness of strife avoidance, use it. The NLT version says, “Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.” The last phrase takes some of my whimsical approach completely away. Quarreling is not an activity of a wise person or an honorable person. The Scriptures list conflict and arguments as the activity of foolish people. The Bible Dictionary lists the meaning of the Hebrew word for fool as “one who hates wisdom and walks in folly, despising wisdom and morality.” There seems to be no way around this subject. There are no good results from strife and quarreling.
I am certainly not saying that this is easy. A couple of years ago, I had lost my voice over the Thanksgiving holiday. Joy said it was our most peaceful Thanksgiving ever. Of course, she was only joking. I think. But it certainly limited my ability to chime into family discussions, and I have a very opinionated family. We love each other but must be careful not to set each other off. Somehow, all my children are very verbally adept and not bashful about sharing. I have absolutely no idea where they got that from.
A couple of things that will help you avoid strife. Go into the holiday get-togethers with an alert mindset. Go in prepared to stay calm and not be baited into a dispute. Remember that very few arguments are ever won. Rarely does someone look at you and say, “Hey, thank you for blasting my opinion. I can now see clearly the error of my ways and will promptly change.” I don’t think that even happens in Hallmark movies.
Be prepared to stop if you find yourself getting heated. Just say no. Walk away. Have another slice of turkey and some pie. Remember, you haven’t lost by walking away. What you have done is proven yourself to be a person of honor and wisdom. Well done, you deserve another piece of pie for not being foolish, and you gained an honor point.
Smile, be quiet, and surprise people. They will wonder why you are so cool and calm. Do not repeat the proverb to them that any fool can start a quarrel. You lose points for that. Once again, the bluntness of the NLT is helpful here in Proverbs 17:28, “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.”
So here’s to wisdom and intelligence during the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons. Have a wonderful, honorable time!
PRAYER
Lord, help me avoid arguments and be a peacemaker and blessing bringer during the upcoming holidays. I want to represent You well.