PRACTICAL WISDOM FOR NAVIGATING RELATIONSHIPS
Proverbs 26:17-20 NKJV
17 He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own
Is like one who takes a dog by the ears.
18 Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death,
19 Is the man who deceives his neighbor,
And says, “I was only joking!”
20 Where there is no wood, the fire goes out;
And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.
I love the practical wisdom of the Proverbs. Today, we have three examples of wisdom that will work at the office, in the neighborhood, and in most any environment where people are involved.
If it ain’t your fight, stay out of it: poor English but good advice. Solomon says if you get involved in a dispute or conflict that does not involve you, there will be a consequence. And the consequence will be painful. The person who gets involved in the arguments of others is like one who grabs a dog by the ears. I know some of you have wonderfully chill dogs who don’t care if you yank on their ears. But for many dogs, you grab them by the ears, and you’ll get bitten. I remember watching a guy called the Dog Whisperer. He had a real way with dogs, even the overly aggressive ones. But I never saw him grab a dog by the ears. That is a sure invite to a bite. And so is getting involved in a conflict that does not involve you. Of course, this is not talking about standing by and watching someone get attacked or abused. Maybe the word to focus on is meddle. A meddler is involved in a non-violent conflict that is not their business. There is a difference between meddling and protecting.
The person who lies and then says I was only joking is a person to avoid. We would all avoid a crazy person shooting weapons that could maim or kill. We know better than to be around a person like that. If you are crazy and carrying weapons, you are high on my avoid list. So the person who is your neighbor, someone who is in your life, not a stranger, and lies to you but passes it off as a joke is not a safe person. Trust is the currency of any good relationship. Someone who deceives on purpose then excuses his error by saying he was only kidding is not a trustworthy person. You really never know what they are going to do. And please don’t say they have a good heart. If they have a good heart, they will bear good fruit, according to Jesus. You can’t have a good heart and be purposefully deceptive. This would be another person to pray for. From a distance.
And our last behavioral lesson is about the talebearer. The margin of my Bible calls this person a gossip, slanderer, or whisperer. I have seen this in staff and office environments. Where there is internal conflict, somebody’s talking. And it ain’t talking good. Just as a reminder, this is poor English Saturday. Someone who is spreading stories or disinformation is stirring up trouble. I have had experience with these people. Wherever they go, trouble goes with them. Take them out, and the conflict immediately decreases. This is one of the reasons that we have a strongly enforced staff value of not backbiting and lying about other staff. It is a very fireable offense. We believe everyone on our staff rides the same bus, and no one deserves being tossed under it. In other words, no one should have to work on our staff and be worried about what others are saying about them. We have no tolerance and little mercy for the person who spreads slander and gossip. We have enough challenges and fires to put out in the church. We sure don’t need anyone adding fuel to the fires.
Good practical wisdom. It shows us who to be and who not to be. And who to watch out for and avoid.